#1 Douche Bag


Today we nominate for the title of #1 Douche bag is Mel Gibson. Not for talking shit about his girlfriend or women in general, and not because he hates Jews, no we pick him because his movies are shit since Braveheart.

Posted in Douchebags | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The Code


 

Lessons Learned from Captain Jack Sparrow

Here I present the 20 lessons he demonstrates…lessons that are available to all who set sail with a brave and adventurous heart. But read this at your own risk, as these lessons have the power to transform lives, if you listen closely enough.

1. Freedom is paramount.
As Captain Jack says to Elizabeth, “what the Black Pearl really is…is freedom.” His quest to regain the Black Pearl is one of finding his own personal freedom, to travel without encumbrance to the horizon.

2. You determine what you are, not your circumstances.
Even though Jack is without a ship for the majority of the story, he exclusively introduces himself as Captain Jack Sparrow. Why? Because he knows in his heart that a captain is who he is, regardless of his current situation. When Commander Norrington challenges him with, “Well, I don’t see your ship…’Captain,’” Jack merely narrows his eyes and responds coolly, “I’m in the market, as it were.”

3. If people forget who you are, you must remind them.
It’s not enough to know who you are – you also need to remind other people. Don’t let them play you down. Insist on the respect you deserve. Even on the gallows, Jack corrects the reference to his name. “It’s Captain. Captain Jack Sparrow.”

And when Gillette laughs at Jack’s assertion that he is taking command of the Dauntless, Jack reminds him, with the help of a pistol, “Son, I’m Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?” Similarly, at Barbossa’s stunned reaction to finding Jack alive and well, Jack says, “When you marooned me on that godforsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate…I’m Captain Jack Sparrow.”

4. Aim high.
Jack’s goal is singular: to regain command of the Black Pearl. This is no modest goal – his former ship is now inhabited by a bloodthirsty, crazed group of pirates who cannot be killed. The average person wouldn’t even attempt this.

But small goals don’t appear to be what motivates Jack. When he tells Elizabeth that he’s going to teach the pirate song to his whole crew (when he gets his ship back) she flatters him with, “And you’ll be positively the most fearsome pirate in the Spanish Main.” Even this is not big enough for Jack, as he counters with, “Not just the Spanish Main, love, the entire ocean, the entire world.”

5. Cultivate your own legend.
When it comes to personal marketing, Jack is an expert. He knows that if you want to become legendary, you need to put some effort into it. Mr. Gibbs tells Will of Jack’s fantastic escape from the island. Elizabeth has read of his tales of escape and conquest. And when talking with Mullroy and Murtogg (after being challenged aboard the Interceptor) he begins spinning yet another yarn with, “…and then they made me their chief.”

What is perhaps most interesting is that despite the initial suspicion with which Captain Jack is viewed, his stories elicit rapt attention, whether told by himself or an advocate. People love legends…even when they’re not sure they believe them.

6. Remember that infamy is as good as fame.
Jack seems to feel that it’s better to be known and disrespected than never to be known at all. Norrington claims, “You are, without doubt, the worst pirate I’ve ever heard of.” To which Jack responds cockily, “But you have heard of me.”

7. Keep a sharp eye.
As unsteady and oblivious as Captain Jack appears to others, he is startlingly present and aware, soaking up the details to see what may be of use to him. He recognizes Will as the son of his friend, and hearing Will discuss “the right leverage” and the “proper application of strength” leads him to develop a cunning strategy. Jack appears to know that gold isn’t just found in pirate caves and ship holds, but also in the details of everyday interactions.

8. Master strategy, but be prepared to fly by the seat of your pants, as well.
Jack is a clever, if unconventional, strategist. Nevertheless, he is prepared to take swift action without knowing how it will all work out. His escape from the Royal Navy (after rescuing Elizabeth) showed that thinking only two steps ahead of everyone else was enough to manage an escape.

9. Wait for the opportune moment…and be poised for action when it arrives.
Timing can be everything; sometimes it’s a waiting game. Will cannot see the wisdom of this. He moves ahead when the time is not yet right and later (with Elizabeth) misses his opportunity altogether. But Jack knows that success is about allowing the best circumstances to ripen, then moving into swift action…even with a pistol shot that you have been waiting to use for ten long years.

10. Develop your own sense of personal style.
Style is essential, and life is too short to waste masquerading as a copy of someone else. From the beads in his hair and beard to the kohl smudged under his eyes, Jack is style personified. Who cares if it falls in line with established fashion? One look at Jack and you know he’s an individual.

11. Don’t go anywhere without your effects.
Jack goes no where without his effects and if he has to set them aside, he cautions others to watch over them. And for good reason – his sword and pistol are the tools of his trade, and his hat? His hat is pure Captain Jack. What captain would go out into the world without his weapons and his hat?

12. Never apologize for who you are or offer explanations.
Throughout the story, people are misinterpreting Jack and his motives, left and right. He could spend time explaining himself, or apologizing for his unconventional ways, but he doesn’t waste the time. Jack knows that people will decide what they think of you regardless of what you say; what matters is what you do.

13. If playing by the rules could get you annihilated, don’t do it.
Staying alive is more important to Jack than honoring someone else’s code. When Jack reminds Will that he previously beat him in a fight, Will protests. “You didn’t beat me,” Will insists, “You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I’d kill you.” Jack looks at him pointedly, “And that’s not much incentive for me to fight fair, is it?”

14. Make it your business to know what motivates each person you deal with, and be ready to use that to your advantage.
Jack rightly calculated that Will is motivated by love for Elizabeth, Barbossa by power and status, Norrington by his sense of righteousness, and the Governor by his desire to protect his daughter and sense of propriety. At various points in the story, he makes a proposal to each of these people and in every case he presents in it such away that he addresses their motivating need. And even when they still don’t trust him, the proposal is usually too good to resist…just as Jack intended.

15. Know that people don’t have to understand you or respect you in order for you to get what you want.
If Jack waited for validation from others, he’d get little done. And so he doesn’t wait. He moves through life being exactly who he is, reminding people of who he is (“Captain Jack Sparrow”) but not slowing down to make sure they “get” it.

16. Allow madness and brilliance to coincide.
Will can’t decide if the underwater path to the Dauntless is an idea born of madness or brilliance, and Jack points out that it’s remarkable how often those two traits coincide. And he should know – he’s a master of the brilliant, crazy plan. When Elizabeth and Will engage in “out of the box” thinking of their own, Mr. Gibbs grins admiringly and says, “Aye, daft like Jack!”

17. Remember that the only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can’t do.
Jack doesn’t waste his time with possibilities and arguments. It’s all about what he can do, what he can’t do, and what action to take as a result. He leaves the internal struggle of conscience to people like Will.

18. Even in dire straits, keep your sense of humor.
Jack lends new meaning to gallows humor when he engages in a reminiscing chuckle as an official reads his crimes before his hanging. You can almost hear Jack’s thoughts, “Impersonating a cleric…good times, good times.”

19. Pretty, shiny things are meant to be collected – hoarded, even!
Sometimes you just need a bejeweled gold crown, and how could anyone have enough strings of pearls? Enough said.

20. Never give up.
Persistence is all the more impressive when the odds are clearly against a person. From the time of the mutiny aboard the Black Pearl to the time Jack regained the ship, ten years passed. An entire decade. And yet not once did Jack give up his goal. Sure, he may have taken some detours, drank more than his share of rum, and shared a bit of fun with the harlots in Tortuga – but he always returned to his goal of getting his ship back. With patience and a bit of assistance, Jack succeeded, too. And through this, he shares his most important message: never give up on what matters most to you.

Posted in Fun, Inspirational | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

A Father’s Agonizing Choice


You are an inmate in a concentration camp. A sadistic guard is about to hang your son who tried to escape and wants you to pull the chair from underneath him. He says that if you don’t he will not only kill your son but some other innocent inmate as well. You don’t have any doubt that he means what he says. What should you do?

Posted in What do you do? | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Dick Act 1902


Some of my Conspiracy Theorist friends send me some crazy shit like the Dick Act of 1902

I will give you what they sent me, but here is the truth.

Actually this doesn’t really exist. Now the Dick Act of 1903 does, and that resulted in the creation of the modern National Guard. Now the Dick Act of 1902, was in a fictional novel called The Iron Heel, this novel has a somewhat alternate history feel because, as with Orwell’s 1984, the dating of these novels are now in our past. Jack London ambitiously predicted a breakdown of the US republic starting a few years past 1908 but various events have caused his predicted future to diverge from actual history.

“THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION”
WHEN LIBERTY & FREEDOM ARE AT THREAT IT IS EVERY AMERICAN’S DUTY TO PROTECT IT “Against ALL ENEMIES Foreign & Domestic”

This Website is NOT Government Formatted To fit your brain

The Dick Act of 1902 also known as the Efficiency of Militia Bill H.R. 11654, of June 28, 1902 invalidates all so-called gun-control laws. It also divides the militia into three distinct and separate entities.

The three classes H.R. 11654 provides for are the organized militia, henceforth known as the National Guard of the State, Territory and District of Columbia, the unorganized militia and the regular army. The militia encompasses every able-bodied male between the ages of 18 and 45. All members of the unorganized militia have the absolute personal right and 2nd Amendment right to keep and bear arms of any type, and as many as they can afford to buy.

The Dick Act of 1902 cannot be repealed; to do so would violate bills of attainder and ex post facto laws which would be yet another gross violation of the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights. The President of the United States has zero authority without violating the Constitution to call the National Guard to serve outside of their State borders.

The National Guard Militia can only be required by the National Government for limited purposes specified in the Constitution (to uphold the laws of the Union; to suppress insurrection and repel invasion). These are the only purposes for which the General Government can call upon the National Guard.

Attorney General Wickersham advised President Taft, “the Organized Militia (the National Guard) can not be employed for offensive warfare outside the limits of the United States.

The Honorable William Gordon, in a speech to the House on Thursday, October 4, 1917, proved that the action of President Wilson in ordering the Organized Militia (the National Guard) to fight a war in Europe was so blatantly unconstitutional that he felt Wilson ought to have been impeached.

During the war with England an attempt was made by Congress to pass a bill authorizing the president to draft 100,000 men between the ages of 18 and 45 to invade enemy territory, Canada. The bill was defeated in the House by Daniel Webster on the precise point that Congress had no such power over the militia as to authorize it to empower the President to draft them into the regular army and send them out of the country.

The fact is that the President has no constitutional right, under any circumstances, to draft men from the militia to fight outside the borders of the USA, and not even beyond the borders of their respective states. Today, we have a constitutional LAW which still stands in waiting for the legislators to obey the Constitution which they swore an oath to uphold.

Charles Hughes of the American Bar Association (ABA) made a speech which is contained in the Appendix to Congressional Record, House, September 10, 1917, pages 6836-6840 which states: “The militia, within the meaning of these provisions of the Constitution is distinct from the Army of the United States.” In these pages we also find a statement made by Daniel Webster, “that the great principle of the Constitution on that subject is that the militia is the militia of the States and of the General Government; and thus being the militia of the States, there is no part of the Constitution worded with greater care and with more scrupulous jealousy than that which grants and limits the power of Congress over it.

“This limitation upon the power to raise and support armies clearly establishes the intent and purpose of the framers of the Constitution to limit the power to raise and maintain a standing army to voluntary enlistment, because if the unlimited power to draft and conscript was intended to be conferred, it would have been a useless and puerile thing to limit the use of money for that purpose. Conscripted armies can be paid, but they are not required to be, and if it had been intended to confer the extraordinary power to draft the bodies of citizens and send them out of the country in direct conflict with the limitation upon the use of the militia imposed by the same section and article, certainly some restriction or limitation would have been imposed to restrain the unlimited use of such power.

Posted in The Sheep | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

10 Reasons Why You Should Never Buy Diamonds


  

1. You’ve Been Psychologically Conditioned To Want a Diamond
The diamond engagement ring is a 63-year-old invention of N.W.Ayer advertising agency. The De Beers diamond cartel contracted N.W.Ayer to create a demand for what are, essentially, useless hunks of rock.

2. Diamonds are Priced Well Above Their Value
The De Beers cartel has systematically held diamond prices at levels far greater than their abundance would generate under anything even remotely resembling perfect competition. All diamonds not already under its control are bought by the cartel, and then the De Beers cartel carefully managed world diamond supply in order to keep prices steadily high.

3. Diamonds Have No Resale or Investment Value
Any diamond that you buy or receive will indeed be yours forever: De Beers’ advertising deliberately brain-washed women not to sell; the steady price is a tool to prevent speculation in diamonds; and no dealer will buy a diamond from you. You can only sell it at a diamond purchasing center or a pawn shop where you will receive a tiny fraction of its original “value.”

4. Diamond Miners are Disproportionately Exposed to HIV/AIDS
Many diamond mining camps enforce all-male, no-family rules. Men contract HIV/AIDS from camp sex-workers, while women married to miners have no access to employment, no income outside of their husbands and no bargaining power for negotiating safe sex, and thus are at extremely high risk of contracting HIV.

5. Open-Pit Diamond Mines Pose Environmental Threats
Diamond mines are open pits where salts, heavy minerals, organisms, oil, and chemicals from mining equipment freely leach into ground-water, endangering people in nearby mining camps and villages, as well as downstream plants and animals.

6. Diamond Mine-Owners Violate Indigenous People’s Rights
Diamond mines in Australia, Canada, India and many countries in Africa are situated on lands traditionally associated with indigenous peoples. Many of these communities have been displaced, while others remain, often at great cost to their health, livelihoods and traditional cultures.

7. Slave Laborers Cut and Polish Diamonds
More than one-half of the world’s diamonds are processed in India where many of the cutters and polishers are bonded child laborers. Bonded children work to pay off the debts of their relatives, often unsuccessfully. When they reach adulthood their debt is passed on to their younger siblings or to their own children.

8. Conflict Diamonds Fund Civil Wars in Africa
There is no reliable way to insure that your diamond was not mined or stolen by government or rebel military forces in order to finance civil conflict. Conflict diamonds are traded either for guns or for cash to pay and feed soldiers.

9. Diamond Wars are Fought Using Child Warriors
Many diamond producing governments and rebel forces use children as soldiers, laborers in military camps, and sex slaves. Child soldiers are given drugs to overcome their fear and reluctance to participate in atrocities.

10. Small Arms Trade is Intimately Related to Diamond Smuggling
Illicit diamonds inflame the clandestine trade of small arms. There are 500 million small arms in the world today which are used to kill 500,000 people annually, the vast majority of whom are non-combatants.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Moon Landing


On this day in history America fakes the moon landing.

Officially giving conspiracy theorist a hard-on and making The United States douchebags in duping the American public.

One Giant Leap for People Who Believe this Shit.

Posted in Assholes, Douchebags | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Overcrowded Lifeboat


In 1842, a ship struck an iceberg and more than 30 survivors were crowded into a lifeboat intended to hold 7. As a storm threatened, it became obvious that the lifeboat would have to be lightened if anyone were to survive. The captain reasoned that the right thing to do in this situation was to force some individuals to go over the side and drown. Such an action, he reasoned, was not unjust to those thrown overboard, for they would have drowned anyway. If he did nothing, however, he would be responsible for the deaths of those whom he could have saved. Some people opposed the captain’s decision. They claimed that if nothing were done and everyone died as a result, no one would be responsible for these deaths. On the other hand, if the captain attempted to save some, he could do so only by killing others and their deaths would be his responsibility; this would be worse than doing nothing and letting all die. The captain rejected this reasoning. Since the only possibility for rescue required great efforts of rowing, the captain decided that the weakest would have to be sacrificed. In this situation it would be absurd, he thought, to decide by drawing lots who should be thrown overboard. As it turned out, after days of hard rowing, the survivors were rescued and the captain was tried for his action. If you had been on the jury, how would you have decided?

Posted in What do you do? | Tagged | Leave a comment